A reader writes:
(bold is mine)
I fortunately came across your page and your posts give me some clues about females behaivor.
I realised that i am a good looking guy only a year ago. I’ve been told that i am very good looking from diffrent poeple. Nearly everywhere I go girls are interested in me. This means girls come close to me or drool over me laugh about my jokes or manner. But for some reasons other girls (I know they checked me out) act arrogant or if they can’t see me (but i noticed that most of this girls are not really hot). I realised that i get the best reactions from girls 8 and above (they smile to me…). Girls, which apporach me sometimes are often ugly. I am a chilled guy and act to everybody friendly and nicely (excepetion I am pissed off). And thats where the problem lies. I think my game is kind of uncalibrated. When i am parting (Goa or Reggae) and catch up a girl and talk to her they almost everytime tries to put herself in a better light (she can do massage, she usually look diffrent…) and sometimes try to find something bad about me. But I can deal with that. But why are some girls play such a arrogant play (they don’t even look that good sometimes really ugly) ? Are they just playing hard to get, are they not interested, or the glances has turned their heads? I had my lays but it could be better … Whats your advice for me is it good to act nicely ( I am about an 8) . Sometimes i can hear girls talking about me they say I am cute(often), hot..but sometimes they say he is gay (But I am very manly more than average) Sometimes gay guys are intressted in me too, girls write me online, one time i caught a girl which was taking a photo off me from her car :) ) . I tried to be arrogant with no good results. (Beside I’m Lebanese living in Germany hope you understood what I wrote). Thanks.
Thanks for writing in reader, this is often a case for men with decent to good looks, especially when they weren’t aware of how good-looking they are or just became consciously aware of it. It’s like finding out you had a super power all along but never used it. When you first start using it you’re gonna be all over the place with it until you can control it and fine tune it.
This however is really not the big concern in your case, it will naturally get tuned the more you’re accustomed to this power. Sometimes it will seem like a burden, and a negative thing, but it’s still a power. That’s what you have to remind yourself when getting frustrated.
What you need to understand about women, in accordance with your looks, is perception. Girls exist primarily in a social order, they are subconsciously aware of it and it dominates their conscious selves as well. When a guy comes around it can produce reactions in her based on her perception of his social value, good looks are a higher social value these days because girls have been brought up to think men and women are the same, so they look at good-looking men the same way everyone looks at good-looking women (more on this in a bit).
So let’s say an average girl, or a 7, pretty cute, bangable, pretty, but not smoking hot, has 3 men come into her vicinity at seperate times. An ugly man (the one who needs the most game to counter the reaction I’m about to describe) produces an inflated sense of hotness and social standing in the girls. Basically she feels like a 9, but not being a nine, she doesn’t have the easy-going personality of a girl who gets anything she wants without asking, so she acts like how she wants to act as if she were a 9 – if that makes sense. She’ll completely ignore this guy, won’t be on her radar, and attempts to approach her will be laughed and mocked, or pitied.
When the average dude approaches her, her internal social rating still stands above him, but not that far, it’s a comfortable place for her, she wields power over him, she can maybe have a new orbiter who makes her feel pretty and desirable, if he’s got any game he can even date her of bang her. He’ll get attention, but not fawning attention, he’ll still need to work for it.
Now a good-looking guy comes in. Her internal social standing takes a huge plummet into the ground, she feels powerless, meaningless, self-conscious, fat, ugly, un-worthy. Some girls are stubborn and refuse to accept these thoughts, and react in spiteful, mean ways, or flat-out pretending that they’re too good for you. It seems incongruent to you, because you have had more nicer warmer reactions from actual hot girls than you did from this girl – because the hot girl doesn’t have anyone that brings her to the place you bring the 7 chick. Some chicks will however be tripping all over themselves, or too nervous to talk to you or come up to you, and others will assume sex and girls come so easy to you, that you’re not worth even thinking about letting you date them or bone them, because they assume your banging 8’s, 9’s or all the 7’s who are sluts, unlike her!
Every girl desires to be special to the hottest man she can get. These attempts to act cold and rude are her telling you, that you need to make her feel that way in order to get her. The problem is, it’s not worth your time to do this. I’ve wasted too much time trying to win these girls over, but the social power balance rarely shifts and it’s always more trouble than it’s worth.
So it’s really not so much as it’s your game, or how to handle it, it’s the reality of your world. If you want to game them you can, with them you just need to be around them a little bit, you need to decrease your power over her by being a little dorky, silly, goofy, then she’ll start to feel less threatened and more open to getting banged. But again, for me, I don’t think it’s worth the time. If a girl wants to take herself out of the running, let her do it.
As for ugly chicks approaching you way more often than the average or cute ones. You’re like a unicorn, or a home run to them, they’ll take a shot because they can really take more of a hit to their social standing, and can only benefit from you paying attention to them.
It’s simply the sexual social dynamic at play. Once you know the play book, use it to your advantage.