Reader Mailbag: Far Too Late Edition

Esteban says:

It will be interesting to get your take on the new policy of the American Armed Forces allowing women to go into combat. It seems this society is going down the shithole faster than we ever imagined.

Well, I’m sure this will be an unexpected answer, but I could care less about it. I mean wars are going towards more of a drone/robot based fighting, where women will be as used as less often as men, and there’s really no “front lines” anymore. Of course women have been in combat roles for the past 10 years – and we all know how well we’ve been doing in wars in the past 10 years don’t we. When they start getting promoted to higher ranks you’ll see the armed forces getting weaker and strategically more inept, but again, how can it get much worse than it was. I’m not American so any patriot that takes offence to that should keep that in mind.
The other thing is I just don’t care anymore, I’m not here to save the world, I’m here to just tell the truth and help a few men stay in the light, I’ve given up on the whole bring balance to the force… it’s a long arduous journey to come to that if it ever does, I probably won’t be around for it.
The other thing is, what’s the point? We can’t change the path we’ve went down as a society, we can only criticize and whine about it, and criticizing will only allow us to say I told you so, just like we can with the “Self-esteem” generation.

A reader writes:

Recently, i met a girl from a concert and got her number. I whatsapp her once in a while but it seems like i always the one initiating it first. Furthermore, i tend to talk to her as much as she does and reply as much time as she does. I know that i should reply in short msg and take long time such as a day. But i feel that i don’t want her to know that im playing games because girls nowadays are aware of it. Sometimes she reply after a few hours and i feel she will have the upper hand. Obviously if i reciprocate it will be obvious to her that im playing games. She’s 18 and im 22 btw.

I usually wait 2-3 before initiating a text. It has been 2 days now since we last texted. What’s your view on this?

thanks for your advice in advice!

Simple. If you are getting this, she’s either not interested other than the fact that your texts feeds her girl ego of having men interested in her and the visceral proof of it that you keep texting her and by initiating texting all the time, the one chasing her – or she’s actually interested and just shy (doubtful). You can get out of this dangerous loop of hoping and coming at it out of need for her to engage by texting her a date and time you are going to meet. If she says yes, okay, see you then; than you’re gold, go game her in person and you can move forward, if she ignores it, says maybe, anything else, other than setting up a different time if it doesn’t work with her, then move on. She doesn’t have any intention of sleeping with you or going out with you, and you’ll just be frustrated and get a heavy dose of Oneitis. Don’t let women get away with this, employ action, and if there’s nothing there, cut her ego supply off at the source, she’ll still have plenty of orbiters she can use for that, at least you can sleep at night knowing you aren’t getting played.

Another reader writes:

A little bit about me: I’m a college sophomore who has kissed one girl and is a virgin. I play tenor sax, and am pursuing a music degree. I have few close friends, most of whom are back home. I have OCD and extreme fear of rejection and approach anxiety.

I am wondering the following things:

1. How do I build my social life in college?

2. How do I get laid? Everyone makes it look so easy, and since I’m not hooking up all the time (or at all) I feel very left out, which takes a toll on my self worth.

3. How do I stop putting pussy on the pedestal and stop focusing on trying to get laid?

4. I love playing the saxophone, but I feel it lacks the cool cachet of playing the guitar (or similar instrument). Does it matter either away, and does playing it have the capability of attracting women?

5. I feel the need to be a “bad boy” in order to get laid. Problem is that’s not my natural persona (neither is “nice guy”, btw), though a lot of people argue “being yourself” is the absolute worst thing to do. What are your thoughts on this? I want to be myself (or the best self I can be), but at the same time I want an endless supply of pussy. How do I go about this?

6. I have people in my life (relatives, mainly) telling me that I am a relationship guy, and will never hookup with girls or have FWB relationships. How do I know if I’m that kind of guy, does it matter, and is it changeable?

7. What are the keys to building an attractive lifestyle where girls are merely an added bonus?

I’m interested in what you have to say, and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Well, this sure is a lot, but really all these points boil down to one thing that is your problem, and it’s not your OCD and I’m always a bit sceptical about people who are diagnosed or self diagnose themselves with disorders. It’s a sign of weakness. So is your insecurity. In order to solve all your problems you listed, you need to work on your insecurity and get some tight inner game where you are completely secure with yourself and start beaming with real confidence. There of course is the rub, there’s no easy answer, except perhaps one thing, insecurity and lack of confidence comes from thinking, you’re thinking is reactionary to everyone else’s actions and emotions towards you, where you shouldn’t be determining anything by what others are saying or doing to you, at least this early on in gaining confidence. Start developing a non chalant, nothing bothers you mentality, don’t give a fuck, and you’ll see these problems start to take care of themselves. Once you gain confidence, then and only then can you analyze with finesse people’s reaction to you, like your game and how effective it is, and you can adjust from a base of strength, rather than weakness.

Okay that’s it for this week, hope some of this helped.


3 thoughts on “Reader Mailbag: Far Too Late Edition

  1. “But i feel that i don’t want her to know that im playing games because girls nowadays are aware of it.”

    Yeah they’re aware of it and yeah it’s ridiculous, but you still have to do it or you’ll get slaughtered. i.e. put in the ‘not interested in him, he was too easy’ category.

  2. Pingback: Reader Mailbag: Far Too Late Edition « PUA Central

  3. Solid advice and commentary. I just agree. That last advice was key: stop giving a damn emotionally and then start giving a damn intellectually about what others think. I realized I have just gone through that in the past year, now that you mention it. The only way to get over approach anxiety is to do it repeatedly in one practice session or more until you get warmed up and are just on. You need someplace busy with people to initiate conversation with small groups of people over and over. The student will get better with in-the-field tenacity. You either feel enough pain to change or you don’t, once you know he formula, and everyobody reading the Manosphere knows the damn formula.

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