So, my post about marriage, (which you can read here); created a lot of controversy, as was expected. But the thing that came up the most which I found puzzling was the question and the demand that I answer, ‘what is in it for men when it comes to marriage?’ It was peculiar because the benefits have not changed in 100 years, the dynamics have due to society, feminism, and a bunch of guys who don’t have game, go into marriages blindly either believing the feminist lies of equality causing their wives to lose not only sexual attraction but respect in these same men, which leads to divorce rapes etc. I believed in the game-o-sphere that it is and was a common belief that running game was the teaching of men how to be masculine and essentially shift the power back to the masculine, they way girls secretly desire, as opposed to the mangina and beta way of complimenting and cuddling. Seduction, both short term and long term, was pretty widely accepted through these parts. Yet, you bring marriage into the equation and suddenly all this becomes useless and pointless, and not an option, not something you should trust, not something that’s solidified as truth, and not something more than a few tricks that you can pull off on a few random lays. I don’t believe that to be true. Game is more powerful than a few tricks, but it shows a lack of faith in game that utterly surprised me.
First, the ‘what is in it for men’ question that came up. The theory being that because you can get the same benefits without marriage, that someone living with someone for 40 years and raising kids is going to offer you protection against the courts and taking half your stuff, as opposed to marriage – that there is no benefit to marriage at all. Well they do offer the same benefits, and there is no difference between getting married, and co-habitating. Especially when you have kids – except taxes, you will be able to get good tax breaks if you are the financial provider of the family, one of the things still around (at least in Canada) – Child support risks are the same if you raw dogged it with some bar slut, or the girl you chose to marry, accept you have a much better read (I’m assuming) on a girl you would be marrying, rather than a possible psycho that will want to get pregnant just to try and trap you and get money – seen those before, a lot. What are the benefits? Companionship, well cooked meals, an appropriate mother for your children, surrounded in a home that you are in command of, and you built with the mother in order to raise children in a stable loving environment; constant sex (again I’m assuming your marrying a decent looking babe or else why would you marry her?) chicks are also good at organizing mundane crap that I don’t want to do, they can do laundry, make appointments, take care of day to day house issues, and some are actually fun to be around for a great deal of time. It’s nice to always have something soft and doting and loving to be at your side for life. Geesh I could go on, and really didn’t think I needed to, but if I didn’t, I’ll keep seeing comments like, “you still haven’t said what the benefits are.” These are not all the benefits, and yes you can get these without getting married, and if you can do so, I applaud you. It actually takes someone more skilled in game to basically marry a chick without marrying her. But we here want the truth, and only the truth, and many many men will want to get married, despite the risks. It is still better to tell them the risks and show them the path of potential successes, rather than saying just don’t to it. The risks here, and some states, and states coming soon to your neighbourhood, are the same as marriage. So opting out of the marriage thing isn’t viable where I live at the very least.
Opening a restaurant is one of the riskiest business moves you can do. The risks/rewards are skewed in the favor of failing, and losing everything. Should someone not open a restaurant? Should no one? Is someone experienced in restaurants more likely to succeed at this industry than the person who has false illusions about owning a restaurant and has no clue how to do it? I’m saying there are plenty of things in life that are risky, and telling people to just not do it sounds like the old parental advice of, oh don’t continue on with your dream, the chances are too great to fail. Well, this is what living is, to fail is to live, as much as succeeding is. I am not going to shut off areas of life that I may want to experience just because it’s risky. Money and wealth isn’t a constant or guarantee anyways, you can be ripped off by your accountant, make a bad investment, be a narcissistic nut like Nicholas cage. It’s not whether you do something in life its how you do it.
Was I telling every guy to get married? No. I was suggesting that if you are going to get married, learn game, and you can be successful in it, and it’s the only way you will be? Did I say it was a guarantee? Did I say everyone should do it? I find it amusing what the reactions were. I simply was advising that taking a hard line stance on marriage is based out of fear, and not that the same fear wasn’t justified. It is, and that’s why you have to be smart about it, and everything else you do in life. There are no guarantees in life, I don’t like the way the marriage laws are now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t marry and successfully game a chick for the rest of my life while I raise, or don’t raise children.
It also seems there is an assumption that I was saying, every man should get married. If you have a desire to marry, for whatever reason, you should not marry someone just for the sake of that. You should only marry the girl that fits the mold of wife and mother to your children that you have set the criteria to first. Of course, when I wrote the piece I kind of thought this stuff was obvious.