What Is Love?

Here’s a topic I bet you won’t find in the manosphere. Love. Philosophers and poets have waxed poignantly about the topic since we first began to speak, couples break up because they are not “in love” anymore (usually the women say this) – relationship “experts” and physcologists all think they understand it, but they don’t. I will break it down for you. Many of adoring girlfriends of my past were irked at my definition of what love is.

Love simply is love. An emotion of unconditional caring, like a parent to a child, or supposedly a god to its creations. It baffles me how Jesus can speak of this kind of love and how we should all love one another, but when it comes to him, there are conditions, like every other God, you must worship them like the narcissists they are. Of course I understand humanity and don’t believe in these God’s or any other God that would be such an arrogant selfish being. I also understand that humans wrote religious texts and not God’s and that the notion of Fearing an all loving omnipotent being is a logical fallacy but needed to control and motivate. It is historically the most effective way of controlling humanity, through fear. The lord of lies has no moral apprehensions about any topic or concept. Love is simply caring without expecting anything in return, it is pure genuine caring, and nothing more. But somewhere it got divided into parts and segments.

Romantic Love, Parental Love, Offsprings love, God Love, Love of Strangers, Love of things. But in reality there are no distinctions. People need classifications, but their fallacy is their inability to understand their own emotions and physiology, and what it is that makes us more attached to some humans and not others – they falsely deduce that they Love this person and not the other – the most confusing and damaging is romantic love.

Because being romantically involved with someone comes with a torrent of emotions and hormones, we have labelled this as love, a more intense love than others, it’s inspired young forbidden lovers to kill themselves over it, it is the crucial part to thousands of love stories, but the funny thing is, it’s a misunderstanding, for it is not a different type of love, that’s impossible, Love is simply love, there are no levels to it, it is either something you feel or you don’t. It is the bond which is what is different in each case.

People don’t understand bonding, animals do, but we don’t. We confuse bonding with love because it’s so often tied to it, and we relate to an animal bonding with another as Love. Love is a human concept. Only we can love thy enemies. Bonding releases chemicals and hormones in our systems creating a relationship with another person. The bond can be strong, weak, and even severed, but to say you no longer love someone because of a severed bond is often misinterpreted. You no longer care about the person? Wish them well? Hope they don’t die or get sick or are unhappy? Yes I’m sure a lot of people do, but it’s also possible that said people never loved the person to begin with, and therefore only had the bond they created with the other person.

If in relationships we toss out the concept of love, when trying to asses the relationship or work through its problems, you can then work on the real issue, devoid of confusing and conflicting emotions and thoughts. You here this a lot, “I still love him, I’m just not in love with him anymore.” The former refers to love, the latter the bond has been severed. Most of what we do towards a partner is about bonding. Things associated with love gets mixed in, but all romantic gestures and passion comes from our biology and our physiological bond. It is very possible to love people you no longer are bonded with.

I myself still love all my former girlfriends, it’s just that our bond waned and severed. This cannot change love.

22 thoughts on “What Is Love?

  1. My common sense says that a person who is a self-professed womanizer, is NOT likely to be someone who should be taken seriously on the subject of love and/or bonding! Pick a side.

    Let me say this about bonding. If you have a brain and blood and you’re alive, you have oxytocin. We know a LOT about oxytocin. So, are you trying to convince me or other people that human chemistry is irrelevant in regard to behavior? If so, on WHAT do you base that argument? Like gravity, you don’t have to understand oxytocin, for it to work.

    If people didn’t bond, we wouldn’t be here arguing the point because humans would have disappeared eons ago. Bonding is basic to human existence.

    Maybe you don’t believe it because you’ve never bonded…because your chemistry is off. Who knows. I don’t and I don’t really care. It’s just hard to imagine that any adult could believe that humans don’t bond…

    Last but not least, my common sense also tells me your reason for hiding your face and identity isn’t for literary purposes, as is often done. You’re hiding for real – that’s not mysterious it’s creepy – actions speak louder than words for sure.

  2. This girls reaction is fairly common for women.

    Being emotional beings and telling them love exists regardless of a bond makes them go literally loopy. Only the few sane women who have their hormones in check appreciate and understand the concepts I make.

  3. “When did I say humans don’t bond ya nut job?” Exactly. And of course, cue the ad hominem attack, and for extra bonus points, throw in a “creepy” for good measure. There, your job is done.

  4. You are so right! I was driving to work this morning and thinking about love as a choice. What do you think about this?
    Is adolescent love really love, to begin with? Lust is strong…..so very strong and easily misunderstood. As an adult, finally, I’m starting to see that emotions trick us time and time again. Especially when it comes to “matters of the heart”, or romantic love.
    I want to teach my daughter to follow her head…..then let the heart lead.

  5. Teach her to understand that love and lust and passion are different things. Love between daughter and mother is the same as between friends as it is to animals and strangers, and sexual partners, etc. Our bonds with each relationship is what defines the emotion. Truth is freedom. When you have lust, you release chemicals that will help bond you to another being releasing chemicals too, love is about how you treat others over all, knowing this allows you to appreciated a stronger bond than you would with a stranger. It’s important to shed the ‘romantic’ notions of love, and leave it out of to romance all together. Once you love something, it’s impossible to un do this

  6. women “see and hear” what they want to, not necessarily what ACTUALLY happened. Seeing this made my laugh and confirm my hypothesis.

  7. You’re all fabulous. But, I still don’t know why a guy needs to hide his identity and face if he’s so proud of himself….Hmmm. I must be a nut job to question such things. Yes, it’s creepy to hide. Would you want your daughter to meet a guy who does that? Oh, well, must be my crazy hormones talking again. Plus, you know women never really think things through — we base everything on what we read and ignore our real experiences. Isn’t that what you said I do in my other blog comment ‘donlak? You’re a piece of work as they say…Get real and YOU quit generalizing about all women.

  8. (Guys) in case you took me literally – I was being sarcastic.

    In fact, in a woman’s brain, the right and left hemispheres are connected with a thicker corpus collosum (Google it) than is a man’s brain. That allows us to connect our logical mind (left hemisphere) with our emotional/sensory hemisphere (right side) faster than (most) men.

    It’s why we have better verbal skills overall and we do. It’s why we know what we’re feeling if you ask us and men don’t generally know if they’re put on the spot in the middle of an argument.

    Is all this chatter my girlish opinion? You probably think so – but, again, it’s anatomy and physiology. Oh, I mean my imagination and silly stuff I read in Cosmo…Either that or what I read in professional literature – I know that doesn’t really count! But, if I didn’t know it from reading it, I’d know it from dealing with men…I’ve certainly spent MORE time doing that than reading about it!

  9. You really think I would post if i had a 5.5-6 inch pea shooter.

    Cmon now…seriously…Id love to prove you wrong, but every time i smash down a woman, she wants to marry me and I cant have that.

  10. Donlak. You can do whatever you like. But, trolling? I don’t think so. I’m totally ON topic. I think jamesmarkii started being profane by posting, “Penis.
    That is my response. About 8 inches of it should do the trick.” So, I replied. Yes, I could have ignored it. But, then I probably should have ignored your Womanizer blog to begin with – it was profane as have been other comments talking about “shaved clams…” grow up all of you.

    Your subject matter is inflammatory. I’m merely giving the other side and replying to men who are being rude. Maybe you should kick everyone off your site and stop writing inflammatory blogs. Maybe we should censor the internet after that.

    I’m clearly wasting my energy and attempt to bring a woman’s side to this discussion. Blah, blah…Bye, bye. Hide, insult women, do whatever you want.

  11. I have no intention of censoring, but you keep repeating the same stuff over and over, and I’m tired of seeing it. It’s my website and I get say on here, don’t like it? leave.

  12. how unseemly it is for a middle aged woman to use anti-male shaming language on a site devoted to young men’s experience in the sexual marketplace. you aren’t fucking or feeding any of these men, so they aren’t likely to be susceptible to your attempted emotional manipulation. you’re a bit long in the tooth to be playing those games.

    here’s an idea for a drinking game though, whenever you see a post from a female spouting “generalization, NAWALT, creepy” take a shot every time you see them type “I”. you’ll die of alcohol poisoning before you hit the 2nd paragraph.

  13. Glad to see dana is still around. I remember you from the old days on roissy back in… was it the 80s? You’re a good kid.

    Creepy is the most overused word in modern times, and perhaps the history of civilization. It has been rendered meaningless, like “misogynist”.

Reply to this post

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s