The More You Say…

… the more you risk losing attraction in a girl. This goes double for the modern smart phone wielding players, dating website enthusiasts, and craigslist shoppers – but also for brief pick ups where phone numbers exchanged, and she hasn’t had enough time to fully have attraction for you, outside of your witty banter and proper body language… you’re still most likely not the first guy to give her their number, that day, and more likely, not the last. There is a strong desire to use text game or message game in order to build attraction in order to make the meeting easier to transition to the end game, for the notch, the normal man brain will think that he needs to chat her up so she doesn’t lose interest or desire to go out with you, or some other guy doesn’t come around and presents a more attractive offer for her. So he may over game in his messages, especially with early and heavy flirting and attraction over messaging. You can become almost addicted to keeping this going, it may even turn you on, it may make you think it’s turning her on, and it might… but at some point, if you are texting or messaging her, you are going to say too much, converse too much, keep it going too long. All of these are bad because you might say something that turns her off, and you are also showing her that you have nothing else going on. I have previously, risking my own reputation, done just this in order to prove to you my readers, that it is doomed to failure. I can tell you for certain, outside of the one off’s, that this just doesn’t work, and puts a nail in the coffin that being good looking trumps bad game.

But not only that, but it also drives a steak through the heart of the ‘just be yourself’ crowd, for one, there is never really one true you, we all have different moods, different levels of neediness or aloofness depending on what’s going on in our lives, we are in constant flux, just like everything else in nature… a player can over come these mostly, using game can make you seem more even keeled and aloof, and you can be aloof over all, but there are still times that you’re more aloof and less aloof, no matter if you’re the highest ranking alpha male on the planet. We’re all human, and we all have fluctuations. So, let’s say you’re in the mood just to text a girl? And in the process you destroyed all attraction for you, there isn’t even enough connection between you to friend zone you, you’re just some random dude, and in the girls world, there’s a never ending supply of guys just like you or better. So if that was you, just being you, because you liked to talk, message, you ain’t gonna get a date, despite just being you… you are left doing this over and over and over again until one hopeful chance at meeting a girl that likes that too. The old hollywood fairytale nonsense. It just isn’t a good strategy, because I don’t care how internally strong you are, constant rejection will destroy a soul and make it bitter.

There are many things in society that I will do, just to disprove the lies that are spread around the normal sphere of people – the people who aren’t in on the secret, the cool code, the experienced in the sphere that people who are hooking up, partying, playing, live in. If you’re outside the bubble, you will be outed by what you say, and more importantly how much you say. If all you need is a wink and nod, saying hello, how are you doing? Is a dead give away. The lies are what destroy men, and women. It’s amazing how much these lies are also said and preached on the surface, and how little it is practiced when the individuals own needs and pursuit of pleasure are at stake. Girls who will preach about gender neutral equality and demand respect and act like a man, but still demand a dominant man who takes control. Which one do you think trumps the other? She’ll throw away all that respect crap for the type of guy who can take control of the crazy mess.

There are no concrete rules for how much you text, or message or say, the more brief the better, the consensus of alpha behavior is brevity is the path to her bed, however, too brief isn’t going to cut it either. You still have to build some attraction, so that her going out with you isn’t one, too scary, or two, forgotten after you message her. The consensus still remains good practice, text her 1 time to every 3 texts, let her send the last text, leave 3 times more time between texts than you want to, etc. However, this has to be after you feel like you’ve hooked her interest. If you are trying to get interest, you need to do a little more messaging than you will after you feel she’s hooked.

Ex: You suggest a night for a drink, she agrees to it and the time and place, and seems in her messages to be some what enthusiastic. Then you can go on the traditional 3-1 messages. If she is wavering, you’ll need to text her off topic for a bit in order to calm her reservations. If she’s wavering, she thinks somethings off about you – and this is where you can get into trouble. How much is too much? How much to you message in this case? The more you do, the more her reservations will be justified. Remember, girls are looking for reasons to disqualify you, it sounds stupid, because it shouldn’t be in her interest, but if you had 100 girls going after you each day, you’re gonna know you can be as picky as girls are. They can afford it, and that’s the simple reality of the modern dating scene. So you’re in a catch 22, messaging too much you’re out, not messaging enough, you’re probably out cause someone hooked her better than you. What to do?

If a girl is wavering, there’s not a whole lot you can do, to be honest. Trying to overcome her reservations is a fools game, it’s almost impossible to get a girl off her first vibe from you – despite what hollywood says. It’s a fools gambit. Don’t even bother. If she’s hot and you really want to bone her, and think, hey I want to give it the old college try, text very infrequently, and text something random, and don’t respond to her inquisitiveness until much much much later, hours, a day. With these girls you need do need to be the aggressor in the messaging, meaning, you’ll need to break the deafening silence, and then see if you’re hook gets a nibble, if it gets a nibble you wait. Then respond a day later with something completely unrelated, like an offer for drinks, and that you’re at a bar. The only way to change a girl who’s doubting you, is to choose a few key moments of ‘you don’t give a shit about whether she comes or not’ with out actually not giving a shit, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t even bother. It is a finesse game, and not for the impatient. Patience is the key requirement, and the ability to not care about her reactions, and her rejection. If she still doesn’t bite, move on to the next one.

8 thoughts on “The More You Say…

  1. ” If all you need is a wink and nod, saying hello, how are you doing? Is a dead give away. ”

    I read your blog and find it very interesting, perhaps I´m too thick of brain, but care to explain the above paragraph?

  2. This is really timely. I am getting ready for my first trip to the Philippines in a week. In preparation I signed up for a couple dating sites just to see what’s out there. The great thing is you get SO many interests from girls that you can afford to be extremely picky. I’m only responding to 7s, 8s and 9s and only talking more than a few lines to ones that seem cool and at least moderately intelligent, with good English. And ones with webcams. That’s how picky you can be.

    But that also means that the girls I *do* talk to seem like pretty worthwhile girls, and there’s a danger of getting too invested in them. I build the rapport with teasing and push-pull. It’s not too hard to stand out as a cool guy on these sites since mostly it’s old farts and desperate losers hoping to get a teenage servant/wife. So once rapport is built and I can tell she’s crushing on me, it’s so tempting to just keep chatting online and intensifying the feelings.

    It’s really important to realize that it sends the signal that you don’t have anything else going on if you chat too much. Of course, I *do* have lots going on. But when I’m chilling at home and enjoying the attention of a hot girl online, it probably doesn’t come across that way. Great post.

  3. I just mean that if you don’t know the code to show you’re a part of the in crowd, you can be spotted easily by what you say or how you act. The in club is like a secret society.

  4. really good content. Q. how can one message for every three of hers be practical? Usually its she texts your reply and it continues like that unless she flakes

  5. it’s a rough guide, but you should ignore one or two of her texts during the attraction building stages, basically the 1-3 ratio is to ensure a non-needy vibe – you can text whatever you like if you aren’t coming off as needy

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