Aloof Or Apathy?

There can be a tight rope balancing act when it comes to being aloof, for the apathetic man is aloof as well, with a greater sincerity than any of the super alpha’s out there. If you simply don’t care, you really don’t migrate towards a goal, to any goal, you’ve become apathetic to the outcomes – yes you may have beaten the outcome dependency of your former self, but you can find yourself slipping into the anti-game mantra of just being apathetic towards women, or really anything. This happens when you begin to balance your emotions and your views on your own goals, what you expect from the world, and what you hope to accomplish, with losing the attachment from the outcome of said goal.

Have you ever heard someone say, or seen it written as advice, that if you just lose the fear of whatever it is you have, you can accomplish anything? Well, it’s kind of true, if you lose the fear, you also can lose the desire to do it, meaning you haven’t over come your fear of it, you have just resolved yourself to not be afraid of a hypothetical outcome, you really don’t go out of your way to pursue that which was formerly holding you back from experience – and at times you actually have went so far over the edge of aloofness into the apathetic stage where if said former fear inducing experience occurs, it occurs with out much awareness, and success or failure has little merit or over all meaning.

There is something to be said for the awe inspiring motivation that male passion unleashes, with out it we’d all be omega men playing video games and reserved to spend the rest of our days eating Doritos while crafting soup in Skyrim for weeks. But fear plays a role in passion, and it plays a role in our inspiration and motivation. We may have immediate fears, ‘that girl’s out of my league’ or fear of heights – and we may have larger one’s, ‘I don’t want to live a wasted life’, ‘I fear being poor, or unaccomplished’, ‘I fear I may never have children or a family’ – With out these fears we cannot want, we cannot desire, for the complete loss of caring becomes apathy, and apathy is unproductive, un-motivating and un-dignified.

Striving to lose your fear is not doing anyone any good, most of all yourself, but neither is being hindered by the soul crushing grips of fear that can be equally as unmotivating, and far more potent of a feeling. A man reserved in apathy feels no ping of shame, no discovery, no inner push or self analysis, he is what he his… Losing the attachment to an outcome, and being aloof, is not completely not giving a fuck, because that undermines the goal – if a girl blows me off, for some reason or another, I don’t give a fuck, not because I’m apathetic to her, or to my desire to bone her, but because thinking and agonizing and pursuing it is merely a strategic error. At those points it becomes self preservation and re-calibration and the lines of my men are moved in a different direction, the goal still there, the desire still there, the sense of loss, still there, the fear, still there. The difference being, when aloof, the outcome is almost pre-dermined, it’s like the fates have already decreed my actions and outcomes, and I merely play the part – the out come simply doesn’t stop my resolve, or my desire, it simply alters it’s course to another target.

If we lose our fear, we lose ourselves, we lose what it’s like to be human, what it’s like to live. I don’t want my fear taken away, I need my fear.

10 thoughts on “Aloof Or Apathy?

  1. Well said Donlak.

  2. Fear is nothing more than an evolutionary adaptation. Fear has kept us alive–kept our ancient ancestors alive in times when humans were decidedly NOT the top of the food chain.

    Having said that, many fears in the modern world are products of the evolutionary environment. For example–approach anxiety is very likely the product of millions of years of evolution. For eons, females were guarded and protected like valuable property, and approaching an attractive nubile female meant you were already trodding on someone elses’ turf and thus subject to violent reproach. Those with approach anxiety were the ones who survived.

    As it is said–discretion is the better part of valor.

  3. I’ll use my apostrophes any damn well I like, dammit.

  4. Good job Donlak !

  5. One of your best posts yet.

  6. Pingback: Linkage is Good for You: Week of February 26, 2012

  7. I think a lot of people misunderstand aloofness. It’s possible to care about a given outcome (getting laid, e.g.) but not care about that’s accomplished (with or without a specific girl). I think that’s what aloofness is about: having a specific end-goal while being flexible on the process of attaining that goal.

  8. Appreciated, Donlak. I needed this.

    I’ve fallen into a rather apathetic phase in my social life right now. I blame winter. But it’s definitely gone beyond aloofness, and it’s not doing me any good.

Reply to this post

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s