The Does She Have Feelings For Me? Trap

A reader writes to me:

Based on the facts, do u think she still got feelings for me and tried to add me again and introduce me to her company to have me near now that she knows im dating other girls? (BTW she’s hotter than ever i got to admit it)

This is one time that the actual facts, the back story of what the man is talking about, is completely irrelevant, I have decided to not use them, both to protect the reader, but also, and mainly, because this is a very big difference between being a man in control, or falling into the trap of wondering if girls have feelings for you, or trying to figure out what she’s thinking fallacy.

If there is one trap, one trigger, that sneaks normal men, even alpha men in a slip up, any man, get’s into its this. He get’s snagged emotionally or passionately on one woman. He can’t stop thinking about her, he can’t stop wanting her, even after a break up he cant stop wondering if she’s thinking she made a mistake, still wants him, he rationalizes everything she says and does as something that might give him hope, that might give him a clue that she wants him. This desire to want someone, overwhelms men to get her to want him back. This single thing is the biggest game killer – this thinking, worrying, fretting, singular thinking, obsession, keeps men from actualizing the goal they want. It is one of the saddest lessons in life, watching a man so intensely focused on one woman – as an observer you can see the train wreck ahead of them, and you know that nothing you actually say to them can change it. I’ve been through it, and I’m sure that most other men at some point have as well. Even more peculiar than the event itself is how some guys fall in love with this feeling, this fantasy play in his head – attaching feelings to girls that don’t love them back, hoping and rationalizing like women do on why she acts like she does, why doesn’t she just admit her feelings for me – guys can and do get addicted to this feeling. This is actually the core reason I started this site. Every single part of this scenario has to stop for guys.
For the men who’ve fallen in love with being infatuated, you are behaving like a woman.

Now the reader does not have the infatuation play going on, he’s banging other chicks, but this one came back after his expulsion of her – and now he’s wondering, and as he says to me, it’s only for revenge or upper hand – however, even if you’re not infatuated with a girl, this wonder of her having feelings reveals the fact that you still are infatuated or attached to the feelings that this girl gives you. He has not let go. Every man who’s been into women have had that girl that just drives him insane, sends his T levels through the roof, acts in every way that takes you off your game and makes you literally crazy about her – you hate her for it, and you want to dominate her, but you can’t because your emotions are completely out of control for her. It doesn’t have to be love, it can be unbridled passion. Being out of control of your passions and emotions only stand to get you in trouble, and not get what you want.

There is one truth about women, when it comes to their feelings for a man, when she loves a man, and this crosses all racial types, cultural issues, and even feminists – if a girl is in love with you, she will make it obvious. If you have any doubts or questions about her feelings for you, then she is not in love with you. Once you actually accept this, and witness this, then you see the ultimate humility in the act of wondering if a girl has feelings for you or not. Girls like to be aloof about these things, but nothing excites them more than that torrent of emotion that floods her body when she is totally into a guy. When a girl gives you incongruent, or inconsistent messages or signals, she’s not made up her mind, or she is doing so for motives that aren’t about her feelings she has for you, but for the feelings she wants to have. Girls will play with your emotions to feel better about herself. Girls do this so she can feel confident when the alpha of her dreams comes by and knocks her off her feet – girls who do this are actually too afraid to fall in love – because she knows she’ll be completely powerless – so she displays and wields her power over the lapping dogs at her feet, while she still has it.

The lies we were told about women, you know, that they’re a mystery, is only a lie perpetrated by beta men who have no idea how women work. Reading women is the easiest thing in the world – because they’re actually quite horrible at concealing how they feel about something. If she seems good at it, it’s usually because she doesn’t feel anything at all about it.

13 thoughts on “The Does She Have Feelings For Me? Trap

  1. You are bang on with describing a woman in love. As much I’ve wanted to play aloof and/or mysterious when I’m into a guy he knows it. I’m not into a guy right now who wants me to be in love with him and I’m sure he’s doing some of what this guy is doing. He’s also an ex and I fell in love with someone post him and I think that too adds to his attraction to me. Don’t we seem to want what we can’t have?

  2. Been following your blog for over a year since I had the shit fuguratively kicked out of me by “that” girl who was my “unicorn”, a while back.

    In a word, this post is brilliant.

  3. “He can’t stop thinking about her, he can’t stop wanting her, even after a break up he cant stop wondering if she’s thinking she made a mistake, still wants him, he rationalizes everything she says and does as something that might give him hope, that might give him a clue that she wants him”
    From personal experience the woman isnt even that great just an ideological utopian ideal the guy has manifested in his head of the woman, if he got her back he probably wouldnt be happy or just fuck it up out of betaness.

    Any chance of expanding a little further on the woman who play high levels of emotional games, my ex used this strategic approach to her competitive advantge “lesson learned the hard way by me” but they were nt shit test per se more like nuclear torpedos with emotional hooks very hard to explain but you ll when you been nuked, statements to reduce self esteem, statments to induce fear of loss etc warefare is not the word for it glad its over in all honesty the head trauma just not worth it,

  4. When I have wanted or loved a man, there was never any question. Perhaps not all women are this transparent, but games get old. I think at the same time that I empathize with this man – having been messed with a time or two in my own life, I have little tolerance or respect for it.

  5. Heartiste had a recent post on this. It seems a study concludes that men are easier to read than women. Women give false signals that they are into a guy but really aren’t. If I am attracted to a woman I look for signals but have a hard time reading them as just being nice or waiting for me to make a move. I find that if a woman is interested she will get one of her friends to approach me first, and ask questions. Then she will say my friend likes you or wants to meet you or something like that.

  6. Yes, what you are referring to is the time before she has feelings for a guy. in that stage you are correct. However a woman who feels something cannot hide it.

  7. Excellent post. You nailed the phenomenon perfectly.

    My practical advice to a guy in the emailer’s position is to detach himself from all feelings and expectations of the outcome with that girl, and once that is done, he can proceed with caution to see if she is serious about banging again.

    The way this is done, is to hang out with her while being completely detached– Game her, in short– and see if she becomes the aggressor. You have to remain completely above her level, not needy, not trying to get anything. Those are the circumstances in which she’ll have an opportunity to reveal her cards, if she truly does want you now. If not, just go about your merry way and don’t give her a second thought.

  8. “There is one truth about women, when it comes to their feelings for a man, when she loves a man, and this crosses all racial types, cultural issues, and even feminists – if a girl is in love with you, she will make it obvious.”

    That just golden. Goes same way for everything else, if she likes you she will make it easy for you.

  9. I won’t repeat praises but honor to author should be given as fully deserved.
    For me this is one of the best articles I’ve ever read.

    Question came to me.
    If – taking all above under consideration, winning with own nature – she will offer herself as fuck buddy – should i screw her as much as possible ?
    She still is best fuck I’ve had in long time.
    Knowing what danger is (to be hoovered again into her area) – believing in my own current power – why reject real piece of high quality meat ?

  10. I think some men fall into this trap because unfortunately, deep down, they know the girl(s) they are attracted to are not attracted to them, and lament that fact. Unfortunately, many people but particularly below average looking men are simply overlooked early on in life (perhaps throughout) stunting the formation of these crucial skills. Or perhaps leading to coping strategies that place the victim in denial. Denial and loveleness persist until either their attractiveness changes or time catches up with them and they realise the situation has become desperate. A crash and emotional crisis ensues with hopefully more realistic expectations afterward – but a great deal of emotional happiness is lost.

    You often see people search for the magic bullets that can make them ‘hit out of their league’ but it seems to me that this is one of those things in life that cannot be truly transcended. Even with great redeeming qualities, an unattractive looking man or woman can never quite experience that same blissful wanton abandon from knowing that the person of their dreams is staring at the person of their dreams when they look at you. There is always a sad tinge of having settled, of the relationship being a silver lining to an otherwise dark cloud. This inevitably affects a persons outlook on life and I’d speculate is a large source of unhappiness in most people. I would estimate as much as 40-60% of people feel rejected in this way.

    For ugly and intelligent people, however, this is often the worst. They are probably the most overlooked of all types, and ugly, nerdy guys in particular. Their social skills are never given a chance to develop and they develop complex denial strategies to mask the unbearable fact that they are hated by the other sex and will probably be so for all of their life. It is difficult to fault a person for falling into the trap, then, of reading any female attention as interest and blaming lack of success on a botched approach. The truth is often simply that they are ugly and unattractive in appearance, however, but at least this unconcscious strategy keeps them alive and motivated to succeed in other areas, safe in the belief they will be wanted when they are ready to turn their hand to it (and these are often highly capable people of course).

    Unfortunately, the result is often no different decades later. Even if someone settles for them because of the success their capabilities have brought, this is ultimately no union of love and they often do not experience truly devoted partners or faithful relationships. The results are often not felt until the tail end of a marriage. Some never do attract a partner. Most cannot be said to have led a ‘full’ life.

    That sad reality underlines any discussion of such coping strategies as described in this article, whether for men or women, and perhaps it ought to be said that this is no fault of the victim. They are not necessarily any lesser people or partners or any less masculine or feminine women or men. They are often just victims in a world where looks reign above all else.

    Even intelligence is forced to pay for beauty. Beauty, however, while it lasts, is left to want for nothing.

  11. I just read this last comment. I would like to disagree. I am a woman. I am more attracted to smart average/ugly looking guys than attractive dumb ones. And I really think it’s even about looks or smarts or money. I think it is about (now you gonna laugh at me) a connection. When you love someone, and you feel this connection, you could care less if this person is ugly or dumb. I simply don’t care. And I think it starts with sincerity. Running a game is fun. But sincerity is much more attractive.

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