As you grow a bit older, no that’s not quite right, after you’ve experienced a lot in life, as you could be 25 and have experienced more than most 45 year olds, something happens to once seemingly monumental, spectacular, special, meaningful moments that occur during your life – these things take on a new perspective from your own eyes, your own soul – once amazing moments you thought built on your life, your experience, and the grand ol’ story that is your existence – and you start to realize that these moments are fleeting. Time is perceived differently after experience, and you don’t get so excited as you once did, yet as moments that are special, you can see with singular clarity for what they once encompassed. You can see the beginning, during and after pass before your eyes, knowing that after, it will be lost in time, lost to memories that may not stay with you as strongly as you thought they would when you were experiencing them as a young inexperienced buck.
Does this effect of having the experiences of so many great or emotionally charged moments that stopped time as they happened, cease to be worth noting, experience, reflecting? Does it make them less special after each new experience. Our forefathers didn’t live past 30, some years ago, they’re entire lifetime was condensed into a short time in the world – if you’ve lived like you are going to die at 30, and surpass that year, does the poignancy deteriorate, as you realize perhaps you’ll be around for longer than you thought. Have you expired from that innocuous childlike revery? Perspective’s a curious thing. So is wisdom.
Some will say this effect is learning to appreciate these moments in your life better, but I’m not convinced – as I’ve had more experiences, the clarity of these moments haven’t changed – but there was always a built in excitement you had when you were naive and in experienced – your first times of anything will shrink in potentially actualizing, everything will be a sort of rinse and repeat effect in your life, with different players and different parts, but being the same story repeated over and over again until you pass. At some point these moments become merely markers of possible progression through life, other times it will produce sadness as the moment is occurring, knowing that it will fall into the fabric of dead space time of your gray matter.
Humans have searched for meaning for life for all of our existence, when you’re young and inexperienced you require no such floundering for a meaning of life, everything is rushing towards
you at warp speed, and at the same time, your perception of time was slowed to a crawl, a hot eventful summer lasted what your older self will consider a lifetime – its a perception that seems to be impossible to regain, to re-experience. But is it? So much of our contentment in life, but more than that, so much of our over-all experience of life, through amazing moments, to terrible moments, depends on our own personal perspective. If you reach a point where you perceive moments as fleeting, they will disappear, even into the deep cavity of your brain, however, if you continue to brush the socially driven expectations of behavior and status of where, who, what, and how old you are, your perspective can stay in the torrential flood of the unexpected, in the never ending drama that is life.
To live is not to breathe, it is to experience.