I Don’t Kiss On The First Date

If you are finding yourself hitting the wall in your seduction, where last minute resistance is coming out in the form of some quite obvious bullshit rules some girls say they have, then you may be falling into what I call technique reliance in game – if you have ever played a video game, let’s say NHL or other sporting games, you will know that some guys that dominate the game around you have found a couple of tricks that are dominant and effective to the point of you wanting to punch them in the face for using it over and over – that is until you learn to shut it down, and they’ve lost their creativity in order to quickly adjust to this new situation and overcome them. It can be the same for game. This post was inspired by Roosh‘s advice seeking from some girls that are giving him the ‘I don’t kiss a guy on the first night” rule. As he says, these are hardline rules with these girls and isn’t able to over come them. You can read his board here.

Now I’m not saying this is what is happening to Roosh, but I know it’s happened to me, and I’m sure many others. One of the things we do as men, is we find something that works, and we hone it, work on it, and refine it until it’s virtually perfect. We go out and game girls, and with plenty of success – we may SNL most of the girls we go out with by using these mastered techniques of seduction. You seem to get a few that have resistance or don’t fit into your ‘routine’ and you end up passing them off for a SNL or even a second date because you’re so used to getting laid with your proven technique on the first night. It is only when you start getting more and more of these types of girls that resist you, or act differently to your technique that makes you realize maybe you need to adjust. In the case of these rules, my belief that you cannot short circuit this if it comes up, the way that Roosh has described it. In my experience, even times when you’ve got as far as finger banging her, these foolish illogical rules will come up. In the case of being alone, you just need to keep plowing, but when you’re out on a date, this doesn’t necessarily work in the same way.

When you are getting this statement of rules, the girl is actually calling you out on your game up to that point. You are too focused on getting the bang, escalating too soon, too much, or she can read it all over your face (I’ve had that one said to me before – even though I made out with her right in the restaurant and outside on the street). What is happening here is that she’s been pulled out of your seduction, and even though she’s turned on, this gaffe has made her feel like she’s going to be used for only sex, and her defenses go up, in hopes that you’ll go out with her on another date and at least she won’t feel so slutty.

There are two tactics to use on these girls. The first is to identify them before you get into the escalation. You can usually spot them for being a bit more self conscious of their body langauge, they’ll keep their hands on the table or on their drink, and though they will be giving you signs of attraction, playing with her glass, smiling and laughing at your jokes etc. She will be reserved. The best way to tell this is when you take her hand, does she look down at both your hands as you take it? If she does, you need to adjust your escalation to accord her, because she’s the one that will come up with the rule at the end of the night. This can happen with a girl who is clearly into you, and clearly turned on, you see her eyes go glassy, she stares into your eyes when you talk, and looks at your lips when she’s not looking into her eyes. A girl who never checks her phone, or breaks concentration can still be reserved for a quick seduction. If you see the looking at the hand sign the adjustment you need to do, is subtly now divert your seduction away from escalation. You need to leave the escalation to the very last minutes of your date, or if you happen to get them alone. You should break off from escalation and focus hard on rapport and comfort building – you need to get her lost in the moment with you – then, when it’s time to bounce to a new venue (great strategy with these girls) you can briefly escalate by kissing her out on the street, and then breaking it off like nothing happened and proceed back to the rapport building at the new venue – after that, you can hold your escalation back, let it dangle on the tip of her mind whether you are going to make a move or not, and let it sit there until the very end. These girls love the push/pull technique and they get wet with the wonder of when you are going to take them. Escalating too soon or too hard will show your cards to her, and she’ll be aware that you’re already scheming to get her home.

The second strategy is pretty similar, the same strategy will need to be applied, but even stronger, and this is the point where you’ve already escalated to the point that she’s blurted out her senseless “rule”. What you need to do is ignore it, but not escalate and plow through ignore it, but switch it back to the losing her in the moment, cool your jets and start acting indifferent to her sexually while still flirting. The easiest way for myself to counter my sexual impulses to escalate is to remind myself that I’m there to enjoy myself, and forget about the outcome and conquest, and start being in the moment and even if it’s painful, try and connect with this girl and make her forget that I’m seducing her. Again, if she begins to loosen up, wait for the escalation for the latest possible time.

In both these cases, the escalation ends up being quick, make out session on the street, pulling back her hair from her brow, pulling her into you, and keep making it passionate for her, keep escalating the kiss and the touching until you are getting in a cab with her, or going up to one of your places. They key is having her lost in the moment, so her rational mind doesn’t have time to kick in with those rules.

Some girls are more open with a seduction on the first night, but some girls really need that lost in the moment to sleep with you on the first night – they want to be swept up in the seduction, and only if she’s completely hooked on you, will you avoid these rules popping up.

Then again, some cunts just like doing it to try and assert their control, those ones should be left at the table to pay for your drinks.

3 thoughts on “I Don’t Kiss On The First Date

  1. Great stuff man. Being able to read a girl is probably the most powerful tool one can have. I’ve been on the brink of making a girl uncomfortable, sensed it, then backed up a bit (metaphorically), then went a little further and so on, and ended up with what I wanted. Some girls are like instant mix, and some you have knead and let set a little, then return and knead them some more. The hardest ones, to me, are the one’s with arbitrary rules that (it seems) they don’t want you to understand. I think these fit into the last group you mention, and I usually don’t spend much time on them once I realize their game.

  2. Your analysis is sound. In my case, getting that line was a symptom of becoming a little arrogant and lazy with my game thanks to a preceding hot streak.

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