Boys Don’t Smile

I haven’t talked much about smiling in my posts, to be honest I never really though about it, probably because I don’t often walk around with a goofy smile on my face – but I came across this new study from the psychology department at UBC, which you can find here – and I looked back on some of my failures with girls, and realized that I probably was smiling a little too much. This is one of those things that seems on the surface to be contrary to one’s nature, to smile when one’s happy… but it isn’t when we look deeper into this phenomenon. I’m not gonna post the entire study here, as it’s long and full of mathematical formulas that make my brain hurt, but I will write some of the findings and how useful it is to men in order to attract girls. And smiling like a dufus is not one of them. Especially smiling to girls. Bold is mine.

Across two studies using different images and samples ranging broadly in age (total N = 1041), a large gender difference emerged in the sexual attractiveness of happy displays: happiness was the most attractive female emotion expression, and one of the least attractive in males. In contrast, pride showed the reverse pattern; it was the most attractive male expression, and one of the least attractive in women. Shame displays were relatively attractive in both genders, and, among younger adults, male shame was more attractive than male happiness, and not substantially less than male pride. Effects were largely consistent with evolutionary and socio-cultural-norm accounts. Overall, this research provides the first evidence that distinct emotion expressions have divergent effects on sexual attractiveness, which vary by gender but largely hold across age.

Shame in which the study will continue to prove, is only attractive in females, not men, as it is an indicator of lower value, which as we all know, is not going to get you laid. Girls are not attracted to a man who’s ashamed all the time, although there may be a well placed shame look on one’s face showing humanity that may benefit a man, and more so then a goofy smile on ones face, it’s best to let girls look shamed, as we find this an attractive trait in girls. But this just goes to show you how much being happy go lucky is a signal of lower value. If you are going to show emotions, it would seem a well timed and well placed look of shame in the right context may do better than smiling. However I’m not sold on displaying this emotion, especially in initial interactions, it simply is too feminine, too child like, and too lower status for me to encourage such behaviour.

Showing a happy face is considered essential to any friendly social interaction, including those involving sexual attraction. Yet few studies have examined whether a happy expression is, in fact, attractive. Are women interested in men who smile, or do they prefer men who appear confident? Do men seek happy women, or are they more drawn to those who are demure, averting their gaze and showing shame? Given that most social interactions entail the spontaneous display of emotion expressions (Ekman, 2003), and   are, to some extent, guided by judgments of attractiveness (Reis et al., 1982), it is likely that emotion expressions have some impact on attractiveness. Furthermore, although emotion expressions tend to be fleeting, they are often perceived as indicators of the expresser’s dispositional qualities, and some have argued that they evolved in part to serve this broader communicative function (Darwin, 1872/1962; Knutson,1996).

Expressions are fleeting and perceived as indicators of dispositional qualities. I could not have said that body langauge and how one presents oneself is important than this phrase, but it also is a strong proponent for inner game. No matter how much you read this blog, and really try hard to maintain frame with a girl, at some point, your subconscious will reveal through mannerisms you may not be completely aware of – i.e. you might not catch yourself smiling like a goofball until it’s too late. It is very important that your inside you, is congruent with the outside you. If you want to display proper body language and proper mannerisms and expressions – you have to be this, inside and out. If inside you are so excited to be with a girl, it will show, no matter how much of an act you are fronting. Our subconscious often overrides our consciousness.

Although we predicted a gender difference in the relative attractiveness of happy and pride expressions, we expected a larger absolute gender difference for pride displays than happy, and we did not expect the very large gender difference for happy expressions that emerged across studies and samples, and which was both absolute (happy women are more attractive than happy men) and relative (female happy expressions are more attractive than other female expressions, and male happy expressions less). Previous studies have demonstrated a positive effect of happy displays on female attractiveness (Mueser et al., 1984; Penton-Voak & Chang, 2008; Schulman & Hoskins, 1986), but, to our knowledge, this is the first research to demonstrate a negative effect of male happiness displays on male attractiveness. This gender difference may be due to happy expressions’ appearance of femininity and low dominance (especially when shown by men; Becker et al., 2007; Hareli, Shomrat, & Hess, 2009), which would increase happy women’s apparent gender-norm consistency, and thus attractiveness, but decrease happy men’s (Brown et al., 1986). The friendliness signal sent by happy displays may also be relevant; if this message is taken to indicate sexual receptivity, it would increase women’s mate value, but potentially decrease men’s. If male sexual receptivity is, to some extent, taken for granted, a social communication along these lines may indicate neediness or desperation.

Look at that last sentence, read it and absorb it. It is the most poignant and truthful thing you will ever read. As men, our sexual receptivity is not taken for granted so much as it’s already expected, no matter how we display ourselves, so if we come off too approachable, too eager, too happy, it comes off needy or desperate. The two biggest ‘gina tingle killers in the world. I bet not many of you would have thought being happy, open, and approachable would subcommunicate desperate or needy, did you? What you are communicated to girls when you are happy, open, and looking to attract, is femininity and the fact that you are lacking a lot of female attention. Do you gaze at every girl that comes into your vicinity with a big grin, and a waiting of receiving and open and warm reaction towards you? Do you get frustrated when you’re walking around being nice to everyone and happy and you get nothing but bitchiness and ignored responses from girls? It’s because it displays a ‘like me’ desperations. A powerful man cares not if he is liked or not, a proud man does not walk around desperate for attention – he gets a lot of it and he subcommunicates a girl to submit to him, by smiling and acting friendly to him, as a sign of interest, if you react the same, it will confuse her hindbrain and trigger a biological response to shut down.

Similarly, the gender difference in the relative attractiveness of pride expressions, which held across samples and studies, is consistent with both evolutionary and gender-norm principles. Given its associations with high-status (Shariff & Tracy, 2009; Tiedens, Ellsworth, & Mesquita, 2000; Williams & DeSteno, 2009), the pride expression may convey heightened masculinity; its prototypical behavioral components of expanded chest and generally large appearance are notably male features, and similar features, such as upper-body strength, have been found to increase masculinity and male attractiveness (Li & Kenrick, 2006). Furthermore, by conveying high-status, pride may signal a man’s competence and ability to provide for a partner and offspring; in contrast, from an evolutionary perspective, the mate value of a high-status woman is more ambiguous. Though a woman high in status may be well equipped to attain resources for her partner and children, previous research suggests that men evolved to seek female partners who were best equipped to bear and raise children, but not necessarily to support them (Buss, 2008). Our finding of relatively low attractiveness ratings for female pride displays is consistent with this account; however, the absence of an absolute gender difference in pride attractiveness in Study 1 and Study 2 Sample A suggests that contemporary men do not judge pride-displaying women as unambiguously unattractive—particularly when women display pride in the akimboarms position—but, rather, as somewhat less attractive than women displaying certain other expressions.

If this isn’t the biggest refute for modern feminism I don’t know what is. Men are not attracted to prideful women. We don’t care what you do in the world, we only care about whether you are beautiful, young, and in an evolutionary term, able to bear children, not provide for them. Feminism can shout from the rooftops all they want about what we should find attractive, but attraction is not a choice.

Also, look at the finding of what pride signal to girls. strength, dominance, and an ability to provide. We think of the beta provider as the thing women will eventually land, because they want that aspect, but it’s not really what we’re talking about here. Providing on evolutionary terms is a man who will be able to hunt, strong, protect her and his children, and create and forge paths where needed to be. It is not at all about providing money and financial support to her (any human will take that if they can get it) beta provider types rely on this falsity to their utter demise. It is not about providing everything she says she wants (for christs sake they want the moon, and when they get it they will want mars, etc) no it’s about providing the sexually dominant masculine power in her life. There is no bigger example of how the strong, proud, stoic displays the highest value of a man as this study. Stop smiling, work out your upper torso, dress pridefully, act proud of everything you are and have done, do it in your basic core, and the confidence will ooze from your pores – when you see a girl smile at you, you will see a submitting to your power, and you may take her at your want.

Knowing the traits that show lower value or higher value have been lost on our society – I blame the single mom broken families for most of this. Mothers teaching men how to behave without a male influence, will make men into whining beta mangina’s like we see today – walking around either ashamed, frustrated, or smiling moron’s – all the while they think they are displaying pleasing demeanour to the world – and they are doing more harm on themselves then good. Pride is the main emotion you should be showing prominently on your day to day life. Mix it in with a cocksure smirk, while you flex for the girl that’s looking at you. It doesn’t even matter if your arms aren’t big, watch her hand go to your arm, and her giggle and toothless accusation of how much of a show off you are. They love it. They love a cocksure man.

I can pinpoint every relationship that I didn’t end, to me relaxing my guard around a girl, and showing too much vulnerability or doubt. The lies go deep in our culture, and we should never doubt ourselves – chat with your guy friends about such stuff if you need too – but around girls, you are the shit, no matter what happens, you’re the shit. The fucking world revolves around you, and your will.

March on soldiers

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